Of all the stuff I’ve read on marriage, so many steps to accomplish this or that, or how to beef up your “love” life, or whatever, this is probably the first one I’ve read that makes sense about the meaning of marriage itself. The subtitle says it all, I think: “What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?” Thomas states on p. 12 that he’s not after simple answers in this book; what he’s after is finding out how we can “use the challenges, joys, struggles, and celebrations of marriage to draw closer to God and to grow in Christian character.
On one topic, being single versus being married, Thomas’ comparison is this: “If you want to be free to serve Jesus . . . stay single. . . . But is you want to become more like Jesus . . . get married.” (21). Not that Jesus was married – that’s not the point. The point is that “Being married forces you to face character issues you’d never have to face otherwise.” (21). He goes on to mention the transforming work of marriage that happens 24/7, and the fact that marriage calls us to “an entirely new and selfless life.” (22). On this same topic, Thomas testifies, “I found there was a tremendous amount of immaturity within me that my marriage confronted.” (23). Ouch. Well, the first two chapters go on with these kinds of explanations. It’s a wonderful read. This is my second time through it. I’ll post some highlight here until I finish the book.
Chapter two is about the analogy of marriage and the spiritual transaction of reconciliation. His point is that Christian marriages should hang on because 1) the God-centered view of marriage is that it brings glory to God and points people to a reconciling Creator, 2) we should be after what makes God happy, not what makes us “happy,” and 3) we can’t carry a message to our children and neighbors about reconciliation if we aren’t living it ourselves and instead are seeking dissolution . . .
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